13 Ways to Ruin Your Life, the FREE book from Jarrod Jones

This is the fourth blog within the last couple of hours or so that I’ve written in regards to TODAY’S Matt Lauer’s interview this morning with former New York State’s Attorney General, Eliot Spitzer, about his sexual affair and exposure with a high-priced call girl. See the previous three blogs for more info.  Actually, I’d like you to read those before you read this blog if you have the time.

One last word in regards to this little series based off the Lauer and Spitzer interview:

Forgiveness.  As a Christ follower, we understand the word as “Grace.”

Here is what Spitzer said in regards to his family’s response since he was exposed: ‘I’m a very fortunate guy…. I have a spectacular wife, three daughters who are wonderful. I’ve been forgiven. There are moments when you realize those are the things that matter.’

In terms of his family relationships he found grace. I pray for those who are exposed in sexual sin can be granted the same such grace by their family. I’ll deal with this more in a moment.

But here’s the key note:  We have a spectacular Savior. In Him—Jesus—we find grace, forgiveness, and restoration.  He, above all else, is what and whom truly matters.  In Him you are not hopeless and helpless in sexual sin. And you are not a pervert for crying out loud.  You are not beyond grace.  The grace of God has no end in Christ.  To know this, believe this, empowers you to conquer sexual sin.

For example, one of the motto’s of my life is the following: “I don’t have to obey to be accepted and loved by God. But because I am radically accepted and loved by God in Christ I want to obey Him.”  That’s what grace is and does.

Do you believe it? Will you slow down, retreat, pause, reflect, and meditate on it.  You don’t have to perform. You don’t have to impress God with how long you can go without looking at porn. He’s actually not impressed. He’s impressed when you have faith in what He’s done for you and who you are in Him.  He’s delighted when out of His grace, by faith, you live it out in obedience—fleeing sexual sin.

I’m hoping I’ve made sense. I deal with this more at length in 13 Ways.

For those whose husband, father, mother, wife has been in sexual sin and confessed and repented of that sin…. here’s my encouragement: If Eliot Spitzer’s family grants grace, without any mention of our Savior, how much more should we as Christ followers then, who have experienced God’s grace, grant grace to our loved one who is seeking forgiveness and help for his or her sexual sin?

In other words, can you forgive? Not just forgive with words, but with attitude, perseverance, commitment, joy?  And I don’t mean forgetting the sin and trauma it brought you and your family. Healing will need to happen. Biblical Christian counseling will need to be sought.  Trust will need to be re-established. Relational joy will need to be cultivated. But isn’t it worth the work for the sake of your marriage and family? And what a testimony it would be to Christ!

Spitzer’s last statement nailed it earlier in this blog. He said,  “There are moments when you realize those are the things that matter.” Those things that matter? Forgiveness (Grace in Christ) and Family.

I’ve been pondering former New York State’s Attorney General, Eliot Spitzer’s interview with Matt Lauer today. I’ve already written two blogs about it this morning. See previous two blogs.

His comments are so dead on to what Proverbs 7 declares, and the content I expressed in the 13 Ways book.

The following is another statement Spitzer made to Lauer on TODAY:

‘Like most of us I suppose, I’ve had flaws…. I’ve tried to think about it deeply, address it. There are no excuses. I have tried to address these gremlins; confront them. What I did was an egregious violation of trust to my family, to my colleagues, to the state, and I’ve paid a price and appropriately so.’

We all have flaws. And we must confront them, deal with them, confess them, share them with a godly and trusted friend or Biblical Christian Counselor, and also pray for God’s grace to overcome them, and then by His Spirit through an act of our will fight them.  Our “flaws”, or “issues,” or our anger, or loneliness, or fatigue, or disappointment, or depression, or pasts, can haunt us. This is when we begin to lower our necks into the grip of sin— or in this case sexual sin.

As I say in 13 Ways, sexual sin can bring excuses or excuses can bring sexual sin.  The “flaws” above can fuel excuses to numb ourselves with sexual sin.  Don’t give in to the excuses.  Excuses for sexual sin can cost an exorbitant price for your family and testimony.

Elbow your way through excuses and burdens and run to the Cross of Jesus.  “Cast your burdens upon the Lord for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7; Psalm 55:22).  You are not Superman (or Superwoman), so don’t try to be. You are free from an ego.

There is no shame or weakness in admitting you are burdened, heavy-laden, and at your breaking point. My wife feels closest to me, and greatly respectful of me and respected by me, when I share my burdens and heaviness of life with her. When I call a brother, or sit with him over coffee, and tell him I’m about to explode, I walk away feeling somewhat unburdened.  When I go to our Church small group and express the fears, burdens, and weight of life and marriage, I find great relief and encouragement.  I want to highly, highly encourage you to do the same.

To carry your own burdens can crush you. To bear the weight of life in silence can make you desperate for relief. That desperation cal lead to excuses for sexual sin. And excuses for sexual sin can ruin you.

In a recent interview with the TODAY‘s Matt Lauer, Eliot Spitzer shared about his ongoing sexual fling with a high-price call girl ($4300 a session) and the trauma of his exposure.

In the interview Lauer asked if he ever thought about eventually getting caught.  Spitzer replied,  “Getting caught… ‘crossed my mind, but like many things in life, you ignore the obvious at a certain moment because you simply don’t want to confront it.’”

Did you catch it? He said, “[L]ike many things in life, you ignore the obvious…”.  Interestingly how Proverbs 7 deals with that very truth. Indeed, a whole chapter out of the 13 Ways book deals with “ignoring the obvious.”

King Solomon states, “Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent…. WIth persuasive words she led him astray and she seduced him with her smooth talk.  All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter…little knowing it would cost him his life”
(Proverbs 7:10, 21-23).

In the interview Spitzer continues, ‘This is something that has caused excruciating pain to [my wife] and my daughters…. It’s something that I carry with me every day because of the pain I’ve caused. And so I’ve tried to balance: The obligation to speak is vast but also the pain to my family has been enormous.’

Spitzer ignored the obvious. And it cost him dearly.

Evaluate your life. What sin are you ignoring?  Chances are that anyone reading this blog is not spending $4300 on a call girl. Chances are that he or she is probably spending time, and potentially money, on pornography. Porn is “loud and defiant” in its display.  It’s intent—or the producers and porn CEO’s intent— is to seduce you and addict you and get your money. And all the while it is leading you like an ox to the slaughter.

In the words of Eliot Spitzer, sexual sin can bring excrucitating pain to your family.

And it can ruin your life.